This has got to be my most favorite picture of my now ex-wife, Sara and me. It’s a picture of her and I at one of the four airports on our way to Thailand for our honeymoon. I like it because we both look fantastic, happy, casual, and natural. It must be because we were both totally exhausted! (It took well over 17 hours to get from Minneapolis to Phuket, Thailand). But, I think the BIGGEST reason I like it, is because it actually looks like Sara was in love with me; something I’ve only come to recently realize, was pure fantasy, existing only in my own mind.
Sara Elizabeth Schwarz and I met online on eHarmony.com in the summer of 2002. We met for the first time on September 30th of that same year. On December 1, in the parking lot of Magianno’s restaurant in Burnsville, MN, right after a romantic dinner when I told her that she makes me want to be a better man, we were sitting in my car as the first snow of the season began gently falling. As white powder began covering my windshield, I very nervously expressed my feelings for her and asked her if she wanted to start dating exclusively. Her response, although positive, caught me off guard. She said yes, but that she needed to let the other person she had apparently been seeing know about it. I had no idea at the time that I was even competing for her love.
Fast forward to October 19, 2003, in Times Square, New York City. Right there, at the intersection of Broadway and 7th Avenue where the falling of the New Year’s Eve ball is seen by millions of people every year, at 5:30 something in the evening, wearing a rented tuxedo and holding the last of a dozen red roses, I knelt down on one knee as my future wife stepped out of a black limosine, wearing a dress that I had made sure matched the color of my cumberbund, bow tie, and handkerchief. She was utterly gorgeous, and beaming so brightly, one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. I held out the rose to her, my hand clutching the stem tightly so as to shelter the 1.3 carat diamond ring that was encircling it. I told her to read the final note attached to the last of a dozen roses that she had just collected on her guided scavenger hunt to famous hotspots around midtown Manhatten.
last note that was attached to it. It read, “He said,’Will you marry me?’ She said ‘_______’” as if to require a response. The sheer expression of uncomparable joy in her eyes that I saw, made the whole $15,000 of my own money worth it. Our over the top wedding, reception, and honeymoon, 9 months later, was no less elaborate. Except for the cake falling due to the excessive heat and humidity, and Sara having never chosen a song for her father-daughter dance, it was all totally flawless. We were both on top of the world. Friends and relatives from all over the country and the world came to witness and participate in this experience. It was literally, the happiest day of my life, and also, the day I regret the most.
[Please note, due to the extremely sensitive nature of this topic, the rest of this section is password protected. I'm more than happy to share it, but only with certain individuals. If you would like to follow the rest of this tragic and true story, you can do so simply by sending me a request for the password at swberg@live.com]
